Some behaviors are clear red flags but others are more subtle, seemingly harmless. Furthermore, forgiving someone we love for having an occasional mood swing after a bad day or amid a stressful time is easy. After all, everyone loses their temper or behaves questionably now and then. Sadly, some people behave poorly so often that it reflects who they are. Here are 20 signs your significant other may secretly be a bad person.
1. He’s Insincere
Nothing feels better than having a partner who genuinely takes an interest in you, your hopes, and your wants or needs. Alternatively, an insincere partner will leave you wondering if they’re saying something because they mean it, or they think it’s what you want to hear. Either way, a person who lacks sincerity is likely to leave you questioning their true intentions.
Read More: 10 Signs of a Fake Nice Person to Look Out For
2. He Doesn’t Listen
Another sign that your partner may secretly be a person is he doesn’t listen to you. Not in the sense that he’s had a busy day and is distracted but in that he never lets you finish your sentences. For example, he never takes the time to listen to your concerns. Instead, he directs the conversation toward his problems, an unrelated story about his life, or what he wants to do for the weekend.
3. He’s Self-Obsessed
Someone who never listens to others is one example of someone who’s self-obsessed. However, there are many signs that someone is self-obsessed and likely won’t make a great partner, friend, or colleague. He spends all his time talking about himself; his problems, needs, and current events from his life, without making time to hear about his partner.
4. He’s Narcissistic
This is a common label to trait but it’s a clear sign that someone isn’t a great person or partner because they’ll cause severe mental and emotional turmoil, if not trauma. Sadly, narcissism is a mental disorder so there’s little to no hope without professional support or resources.
5. He Speaks Poorly of Others
Partners must have open communication to maintain a happy and healthy relationship. However, a partner will probably speak to others about you and your problems if they often talk about others behind their backs. Note how they speak about others in their absence, as the same will likely be true of how they speak about you.
6. Deflects Responsibility
Another sign that your partner may not be a great person, is how they handle being “criticized.” A healthy and loving relationship requires both parties to be vulnerable and hear how they make the other person feel. However, making excuses, changing the subject, or pointing out what you do to upset them, rather than being receptive to finding a solution are red flags.
7. He Tries too Hard
Most people want a partner who will put work into a happy and thriving relationship. While that’s essential to a relationship, certain instances are clear overcompensations. For example, many serial killers have had prominent positions in society; tools, and behaviors to prevent suspicion and mask their underlying mistakes.
8. He’s Always Happy
An upbeat perspective or personality is a sure way to make it through challenges as smoothly as possible but it’s impossible to always be happy. Sadness, anger, frustration, or stress are common feelings that almost everyone regularly faces. Therefore, if your partner is always happy or upbeat, they may hide their honest feelings, which will inevitably boil up and catch you by surprise, if not add to your confusion or cause insecurities.
9. He Talks About How Great He Is
A genuinely good person doesn’t do things for attention or praise from others. Instead, their actions are pure and genuine, allowing their goodness to shine. In contrast, someone who constantly tries to convince others they’re a good person probably doesn’t think others will like them or respond well to them so they point out all the good they do to boost their ego and status in others’ eyes.
10. His Sense of Humor is Harmful
Your partner may secretly be a terrible person if they’re always laughing at the expense of others. They may make jokes that are offensive or disturbing. They’re amused by other people’s pain, embarrassment, or mistakes.
Read More: Can a Child Be a Sociopath? 5 Signs to Look Out For
11. He Never Stops Talking
Like a partner who doesn’t listen, or is self-obsessed, a person who never lets anyone else speak is terrible because they don’t listen to others, plus no one around them can get a moment’s peace.
12. You Don’t Know Much
Your partner may be a terrible person, or at the very least untrustworthy, if you don’t know much about them other than superficial details. For example, you know how he likes his steak, where he buys his clothes, or what kind of shampoo he uses but nothing about his childhood, family, or difficulties in his life.
13. He Refuses to Acknowledge a Lie
Many people believe that white lies are harmless, and in some cases, this is true. However, a partner who never confesses to telling any lie, talks in circles to confuse you, or changes the subject when you address something isn’t going to treat you the way you probably want to be treated.
14. Hot and Cold
A healthy relationship isn’t immune from facing challenges, rather it becomes stronger through those challenges. Meanwhile, a toxic relationship leaves open-ended questions unanswered. For instance, What are we? Where is this relationship going? Do we want the same things? These questions may be avoided or they may go back and forth about what they want or how often they engage with you.
15. Things Don’t Add Up
You may have a terrible partner if they tell you things that don’t make sense. For example, you ask them a question about a lunch meeting you thought they had scheduled but instead, they had lunch on the other side of town. Then you ask who they had lunch with, and they instantly backtrack, recognizing their error.
16. They Treat Service Workers Poorly
Anyone who treats people in the service industry poorly won’t make a great partner because they may feel differently about you one day and treat you as equally as poorly. Plus, who wants to be with someone who doesn’t have a kind heart and appreciation for those who provide a service?
17. They Won’t Celebrate Others
Another sign you have a terrible partner is one’s inability to celebrate the wins and successes of others. Instead, they’re focused on how they missed out or were more deserving of the opportunity.
18. They’re Never in the Wrong
Not only will a partner who’s never in the wrong take zero responsibility for their actions or the pain they caused, but they’ll never be willing to admit when they were wrong. Instead, they’ll gaslight you into believing you’re wrong or misremembering the event.
19. There’s Always a Motive
Another sign of a bad partner is when the relationship is one-sided. For example, unless it benefits them, they never help, encourage, or show up for you. Conversely, they’ll expect you to be there for, help, or support them.
20. They Brag About Breaking Rules
Lastly, a partner who probably isn’t going to be around long term, at least not in a healthy, happy, or functional relationship, is someone who brags about how much they get away with. They revel in getting special treatment from others and use their power to ensure they always get what they want. Even if it causes problems for others.
The easiest way to ensure you’re treated well, and with the correct person is to know your worth. Settle for nothing less, and treat your partner how you want to be treated. Lastly, if yuo’re not being treated with unconditional love and respect, it may be time to consider a
